jesus 

so i went to this show awhile back and was very quiet/awkward as per usual, but had a great time because it was the first d.i.y. show i’d ever been to and seeing so many young people pouring their hearts out completely blew me away

i felt too conscious of myself and was a bit awkward, but ended up talking to one of the musicians there online when i learned that he was a fellow writer. after reading something particularly marvelous that he’d written, i messaged him and suggested we collaborate and he sent me back this huge message about “the quiet girl in the back” and then he said: even though you were standing off to the side with those curious eyes and all that, you joined in when Hikaru started leading everyone around the room. A little hesitation at first but not too bad. And no matter how much you were physically quiet and off to the side… you were still the loudest person in the room to me. Not sure if that makes sense, but I had mentioned it to Chris … the bass player… at the time. Yes… I started off with the thought… “something about her is beautiful.”

so um. just kind of processing this right now.